panda's pieces

hope

2009-02-13T00:14:00.002+08:00

well. away. has it been two years already? damn. well since the last post, many things have happened: i got stuck, repeated, ohyeah i went to bangkok before that, then many other tourneys. even handled one. then the parties came. god was peer pressure great. grass was abundant, ditto for al co hol. i 'changed'. well folks, barack obama took it from me and put a positive spin to it.

then i worked. worked, saved, went really thrifty and stingy but hey its the way to go. i got an ejucation to go through, still. hehe. met more people, got lucky (won more tix and free stuff la, you fickle-minded person!) and freelancing for some important people.

fastforward to now. what happened to moi? well, i just went ayee. care to explain? soon enough. but the developments in the last two years really got my head spinning.

we had this 'atmosphere'. calm, coolness, relative peace and quiet. then i discovered a documentary. sepuluh tahun sebelum merdeka by fahmi redza, a local struggling filmmaker. tells of the story of the struggle of the people: labour unions, women's groups, small sociopolitical organizations that were sick of our occupiers, after the Japanese left. the picture painted as if the people who claims responsibility (they still do) for our great, 'peaceful, bloodless' independence are the good guys, but forthwith i understood otherwise. for the occupiers want to keep their interests here in our great country safe from being shared and enjoyed by all, so they played the race card (cliched i know) with the hereditary kings put on the forefront and the people proclaiming a certain race's supremacy to hold massive media and propaganda power. until the independence proper, the united, large front of the people were defeated by the occupiers and their buttkissing racist party puppets.

given heroes' welcomes, the newly-formed coalition bonded into a powersharing agreement, the only coalition in the world who heads into any democratic process bound by a 'social contract', which by now the definition is so played up and politicised it is just a quagmire of things: a compromise, for the majority race to be respected and given affirmative action over the other peoples brought into this country after this race. or, it could be the rights of the 'indigineous', enshrined in the constitution. or, the agreement whereby the parties of this coalition would share power and give concessions based on the demographics of this great nation.

whatever it is, this documentary has opened up many a possibility for me. and thoughts, ideas, conspiracy theories brewing in my noggin like never before. after a few trips to Central Market, the Malaysian Bar Council, and internet for research, i came to the conclusion that we have escaped the knowledge, the history that makes us and shapes us into who we are, what this country has become. and the entire of malaysia now sit on the sidelines, looking at all the people in the brouhaha which is the malaysian political crisis. yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is a crisis. we have taken the political system for granted. we have said 'we are not ready' to everything: to english in science and maths, to meritocracy, to race quotas, to desubsidizing proton, to rural development (oh yes we havent, KL-ites), to equality, to respect for the law, respect for the real powerholders in a democratic society, to morality, to change.

the police are left with lots of crime, as a result of this economic hardship people start to rob others. yet they are still bickering. i dont care who is right or wrong, educate us, appreciate us, give us the chance to live and earn a living, to learn to live in harmony despite our differences, to love the peoples of this great nation, to become malaysian.

the small, annoying stuff gets politicised, every day we see one guy going 'dont play the race card', we see people making excuses, people standing tall, smiling even, in court waiting to be charged for corruption. we see people desperately trying to grab power and to hold on to it, we see people shamelessly having a go at others' personality, qualifications; ridiculing their input while copycatting their brilliant ideas, then going all 'hey i came up with that' all over the frontpage.

i am sick and tired of all this. frogs, rape, corruption. when will it all end? i'll tell you when. have you noticed all the programs, projects and works have rarely benefited the people? have you noticed money is spent on mindless kenduris and vote-me campaigns and little else? have you seen the twists and watering-down of policies originally formulated for, my God finally, the good of the nation?

we have to think, investigate, participate. think of what's best for us, all of us, all malaysians. investigate ways of solving current, backdated troubles. investigate the true nature of malaysian politics and the inner core of political intelligentsia. who are they working for? who do they answer to? investigate what they stand for, what are their principles? any values worth noting? any particular line they take great pains to fight for? or just the same ol mindless powerlusting? then finally participate in the process. power and respect should be earned and we have to give them power if we respect them. some people think it is pointless to participate as the system is not accommodating. well tough, unless you can find a way to make the politicians turn their backs on power, you go up on the podium then! it is time for the people to determine their fate. who says true-blue independents are worthless? give it a go, be honest, god willing, victory will be yours.

in the world over, people in their own political parties dont always agree with each other. each and every personality have their own beliefs; their own stand on stuff that matters. corruption may still be there, but some people actually have principles and steely resolve to support what they believe in, that can also mean they have no tolerance for corruption whatsoever. malaysia? you know the answer.

it may be a long way away from the next democratic process. but i urge you to soak up on knowledge, history from all angles and viewpoints, so you can make learned decisions. who can make our democracy mature? only you can. who can make our nation ready for all the things we are not ready before? only you can. who can actually make our country work? yes, only we can.

believe in our great country.

life in the fast(ing) lane...

2007-09-18T08:49:00.000+08:00

life in university, compared with school, is, well, fascinating at best and frustrating at worst. you live on your own, eat, drink, sleep, and most importantly, STUDY and DO ASSIGNMENTS on your own.

you have your friends, classmates and buddies, but hey, you gotta be indie to survive. why the heck am i saying this? cuz i'm feeling the heat man. last minute work, sleep at 4 the night before a test, and exhaustion are just some of the cruder points of life here. some may just breeze it, tend to be more relaxed, but somehow my brain an't digest that fact. come on, man! have FUN! peer pressure! lets do this, lets watch that. being away from control is ironically not good. my previous life in a boarding school is testimony enough.

the matter of the fact is, although life has become much more relaxed, the same cant be said for me. sure, i've gon e to ANOTHER concert (gwen stefani!!!!!!!!!!!!), i had to skip two afternoon classes, and i felt as if missing two important episodes of "Pre law 101".

Haih. Unexplainable. Weird, my life is now. Currently, the faasting month is providing me with the opportunity to get my life back on track whilst keeping my frame in check, :-). and every morning i feel as if i'm on speedball. tres chic! fortunately my classmates jumped on the bandwagon and joined in on the endless stream of liberal unprotected fun. you know what i'm sayin'?

lets hope that this semester will NOT be a preview of bigger things to come. like anastacia sang, "im sick and tired of always being sick and tired."

bloggos, peace out. Salam alaikum.

p.s. my premiere post apres 5 months AWOL. pergh.

-............-

2007-03-03T03:03:00.000+08:00

people say that honesty is the best policy, but obviously truth hurts. oh well, pegi mampos la sama orang yang kisah. klise babi. tapi aku bukan nak kutuk orang hari ini. nak luahkan isi hati aku je. yang selama ni terpendam, terbuku dalam hati aku. tak berani nak keluarkan. thank you illya, I owe you another one.

ninie, kalau kau tergerak hati nak baca blog ni, aku nak minta maaf banyak-banyak sebab call kau tak tentu pasal, ikut suka aku. cam kacau kau. tapi kaulah bagi balik ketenangan jiwa dan aku memang ada tekanan jiwa. hehe. secara jujur, kaulah antara kawan yang memang baik, dan aku harap kau dapat cari kebahagiaan hidup, dan jangan putus asa mencari cinta. kb will come to his senses soon. thanks. i owe you too. big.

yana, minta maaf banyak-banyak, sebab aku pun asyik call kau, tanya benda mengarut-ngarut. sebab bosan. tak ada sebab lain. terima kasih, ceria-ceria je walaupun banyak benda kau lalui, lagi teruk dari hidup aku sendiri. itu yang aku susah nak percaya kadang-kadang. kau dah terluka, tapi masih lagi tabah. tak tunjuk pun sedih.

yaya, minta maaf. banyak bullshit ngan kau. aku memang keterlaluan, bukan kadang-kadang, tapi selalu. maaf sebab buatkan ko tinggal sembahyang. maaf tak sengaja, dalam LRT tu. aku pun terkejut, kau tiba-tiba tegur aku. aku tak perasan waktu tu. forgive me. terima kasih temankan aku, masa kau ade benda yang penting. terima kasih sebab tak buat aku rasa janggal; awkward depan orang yang aku tak kenal. terima kasih sebab ambilkan tiket tu, walaupun kau tak dapat pergi. terima kasih sebab banyak bersabar, kacau kau di ofis, time kau kerja. aku mnta maaf kalau aku ada bagi susah pada kau. terima kasih sebab apa yang kau cakap semalam bagi aku fikir, bagi aku sedih, bagi aku sedih. tak pernah aku rasa sedih macam tu. mungkin emo, tapi lelaki pun kadang-kadang kena nangis jugak. aku nangis. terima kasih sebab jujur beritahu aku pasalbenda yang aku dah sepatutnya tahu.

fieza,.... aku minta maaf sebab tak berani beritahu kau benda yang aku simpan dari hari pertama yang aku sedar yang aku suka kau, dan orang lain tahu. terima kasih sebab marah aku masa darjah lima, dalam kelas pn, choo. minta maaf sebab aku buat dia marah dan tinggalkan kelas macam tu saja. minta maaf sebab aku buat lawak bodoh dalam mcdonalds hari tu. rasa aku pulak yang bodoh. aku tak boleh paksa orang nak suka aku.

ayah, minta maaf sebab tak dapat tunaikan janji; sembahyang, belajar, malas, dengan kawan-kawan... dan minta maaf sebab ayee hisap rokok. menyesal sangat. terima kasih atas semua yang ayah dah buat, bagi nasihat, dan dorongan.

ibu, ayee minta maaf banyak-banyak. kecilkan hati ibu, buat ibu sakit hati, hisap rokok, tak dengar cakap, kurang ajar. ayee memang tak kenang jasa. dah banyak ayee buat tak ikut kata ibu. tapi terima kasih sebab bersabar denagn ayee sejak dalam kandungan, sampai sekarang. kalau ibu tida siapalah ayee. terima kasih, atas semua tanggungan ibu, susah payah,nasihat dan marahan ibu. terima kasih.

- week-long journal... in MANJUNG -

2007-02-16T14:56:00.000+08:00

monday 12 feb

oiyooo... tired gile, tido kul 5, updatin my mp3 players with, you guessed it, The Donnas, n then tido sikit jam lagi... 6.45 aku bangun balik, mandi got my bags in the car, and we were on the highway to MANJUNG. that didn't sound rite, did it? haih. well, will it be another boring week- long vacance just like last year (where the only time i went out was to the dentist, makan2 tak kira la) or- else? we'll see...

i made up for the hutang tido by sleepin in pa's bureau... die call aku 5 kali suroh bukak pintu.. aku ni tido mati, biasela... even missed lunch, if you believe me lah. then at 6, scrambled home, and along the way, marked improvements are all over my eyes: roads upgraded, schools built (bukan takde skolah, but more new schools le) and... well, lets just say that much-needed progress is being done. and i was kinda impressed with it all. after all, this WAS my hometown for 10 years....

pasar malam was an all-week affair, monday at KDSK, tuesday at sitiawan, wednesday at someplace... you get the picture... KDSK changed, a bit, got my old standby: nasi kerabu with solok lado... hehehe... lotsa beef, lotsa budu n sambal, pegh... (kekadang kalau bulan pose tu rase menggatal nak bukak kat situ jugak) from the only kelantan stall... then met wif alif sabri, d old joker in 5 dyna, the class next to mine... i thought i'll meet em there, pasal die memang dok dekat2 situ pon... cakap2 kejap, pastu aku pon belah ngan sate and the nasi kerabu.....

tuesday 13 feb

i feel kinda weird, wakin up at 6.45, AND waking up my pa... its usually the other way round... i dunno, or is the mosquitoes being kind to me? or they just wanna give me a 1-day headstart? hey, this is the town where my senior at school, who is now a doc (temping at manung hospital) said: the place with THE most cases of dengue in perak... AND belakang my taman got paya bakau.. AND kolam udang... AND a new taman... the mosquito population was waiting to get their suckers into my feet, i tell you, cos by lunchtime my leg is full with dead mosquitoes and blood they got from ME that i wanted back....

bought nasi lemak for brekkie (and lunch) at d van pakcik depan kedai celcom (orang desa bayu n taman samudra taula)... pukka, mate! sedap gile... makan macam org tak jumpa nasik setaun...
gilalah, kalau hari2 cenggini, aku tak kisah duk manjung setaun pon... tapi.... hehe....

d house was spick and span by the time pa got home.. (surprising cos aku dah lame tak buat mende2 pembersihan nih) n i arranged the dentist appointment at 4 the next day.. indahwater's coming at approximately 10... ala, kaco la deme ni... takpe2, aku sabo n waited for wednesday to come...

and then at about 3 (morning aaa) before i got my head down into my pillow, i said to myself : "mc d dekat... nak jumpe member2 aku bile?" then i smsed the dudes and dudettes : afi, fiza, liyana, nini, and o course, alif.... cheih, cam takde keje kan, but i DID say i was gonna buy, so i expected them to be there at lunchtime... then, with happy thoughts, i went to bed... krohhh...

wednesday 14 feb (valentine's? naah. not for me. aku bukan mat bunga)
okay. i gotta plan set up: do all the things im supposed to and get them done by noon... not bad, i actually did... lepas makan nasik lemak pagi, indahwater pon datang... lepas die abis tue, die kate 'adik, dah habis, adik pegila tengok,' gile ape orang ni? aku baru je lepas makan. muntah kang. "takpela pakcik," i retorted politely... 'la, sendiri punye... takkan takut?' ya Rabbi ya Rasul, orang ni nak kene ni.... "lagipun saya baru lepas makan," 'oh gitu,' and the old git shut up... macam nak tendang je... haih... well, they did their job and went away... i got a free morning, so called d dentist to reschedule... the dialogue went:

phone: ring ring
dentist office: hello, klinik maheran.
me: ye, saye ade buat appointment pukul 4 hari ni. azahari.
akak: oh ye. panel UiTM kan?
me: aha. boleh tak kalau saya bawak ke depan?
akak: ???
me: maknanya, boleh awalkan sikit?
akak: nak awal macamane lagi?
me: pukul dua boleh?
akak: boleh... datang pukul dua suku la.
me: ok... (pause, thinking)... jap...
akak: ???
me: err, boleh awalkan lagi tak?
akak: NAK AWAL MACAMANE LAGI?
me: err, pagi boleh?
akak: boleh. adik duduk mane?
me: saya desa bayu je.
akak: ohh... ingatkan manjung ke, mana ke.... oklah, adik datang pukul 10.
me: baik...
akak: confirm eh? takde tukar-tukar lagi?
me: ye..... nanti saya datang....
-end of conversation-

so at 9.15, i showered, dressed and brushed my teeth again... pastu naik beskal pegi dentist... bukan jauh sangat, setanak air je... as soon as i was there, i was in... i think i was d first customer/patient... abis pun kejap je, tak sampai 15 minit... tengokla gigi sape die check.... hihi... scaling and polish in 15 minutes... must be a record....

balik, tengok tv, rake daun keliling rumah (penat dowf) and showered again for the mc d thingy... nasib baik aku muntak duit kat pa... nanti abis aku... hehe... had a hard time pickin' out my clothes... pakai sesimple pun tanak, pakai complicated lagile... haih. pastu pegila mc d.. diorang belum sampai, so i ordered a cone... and horror! aku lupe bawak wallet? shit! so i got back on the bike, raced home amik wallet, and just in time to get the cone... minah kat mc d tu bleh kate: mane customer tadi? aku tengah wat cone ni tetibe die balik... aku dengar aku terus senyum, aku angkat tangan aku dedepan die... due2 malu... and then fiza arrived... bought her a cone, then others start fillin' in... yana+ninie, d unseparable 'twins' sans KB, ninie's balak... and a guy not really familiar with, then alif... almost all were there, afi said he'll come later, his shift at the hotel ends at 3... so we guys borak'd while the girls went to pick up KB, donno from where, probably from mrs sayang's house (thats another story folks).... then afi datang... alif was making all these faces and sounds... ala... biasela... afi ni.. ermm... okla... he's not like other guys, like me... hehe.... tapi afi was and still my bestfriend so i kicked alif hard on the shins... when the girls got back, i ordered drinks, we talked a lot cos nini and afi were there. KB wasn't much of a -talker (die macam separuh sedar je, hmm) and fiza wasn't her usual im-upbeat-and -hyper-and-you-cannot-do-nothing-about-it mode... thats weird... oh well...

then makan time! order memacam, nasib baik duit aku cukup untuk sume.... haih.... well, biasela, kawan2 lama tak jumpa lah katakan....talked some more, cracked jokes, some backfired; took pics... fiza was the only 1 with a canera, a pink cybershot, i think... but it was so definitely pink... n KB was showin off his NEW mobile (mana ko dapat anset SE tu KB? kaya nampak?)
afi was trying to annoy the twins to bits (they're not exactly twins, nanti tengok gambar sendiri, taula) cos we like to tease them alot. so we did alot in the catchin up department that day.... occupied our minds... oh well...

thursdsay 15 feb

the pipe broke...
no hot water...
argh!!!!
call the plumber la....
no money...
shit!!!
how to mandi?!!!
we got two toilets, one for the master bedroom, another shared between two smaller rooms... and the piping in the master toilet burst. aku kene tutup secondary main pipie kat blakang rumah, takut banjir pulak dalam rumah nanti. bapak aku bagi duit (lagi) pastu he called a plumber to fix the pipe... heh...unshowered... not good... the plumber came in high spirits altho it was raining.. (not a lot of rain recently huh?) and fixed the damned thang... nasib baik aku dapat mandi air panas!!! sejuk, ujan, walaupun sudeh pukul 10... hehe... watched the idiot box for the rest of the day, while sweeping room after room with half the enthusiasm ... ninie, i take back what i said... heroes wasn't crap... its kinda ok la... i thought its gonna be like corny ol smallville all over again... well, im wrong, nini... and i thank you fer that...

friday 16 feb (balik KL! oh....)

nothing much... bangun lambat (pukul 9), basuh kain, kemas barang loaded up the car, bungkus mangga, buang yang busuk, mandi, pegi makan kat wak!!! yes, dah lame tak makan kat wak... nasik lemak die first class, sambal first class, telur oso first class. after that, here i am, stuck in my pa's bureau again, updating this blog...

-bye-

-jealousy gets the better of me-

2007-01-22T00:23:00.000+08:00

what does two cute chih-tzus, two pretty *japanese girls and a nintendo wii have in common? aku pun tak tahu sebenarnya, (hehe) tapi they all were featured in my (mis)adventures today at mid valley. aidil (SDAR) yang ajak aku keluar tapi he feckin' didn't show up sebab ada issues wif his significant other (QC SSP) and i was so frustrated, i went in by myself!

but things really took a turn for the better, tho'. firstly i got to try out the wii (whee!) tennis, and i won a set! haha! next up, lovely *japanese girls posing cutely, bishou style depan camera aku... more than i can take! to top it off, menang hair coloriser (such a word) from the organisers, GATSBY... bile nak kaler rambut ni? hehe...

had fun, lovely ladies, cool games, modded cars... haih, what more can a guy possibly want? secret recipe's heavenly banana choc, of course! erp! kenyang... hehe... and i met up with cloud (me old roommate) at the gatsby thing, pastu pegi tengok pets, die nak beli ikan-ikanan (tak beli pon)... and then we went upstairs... and there were cute dogs!!! hehe! really cute lor.... wish we muslims can bela them, but hukum IS hukum... being a guy, surrounded by cutesy dogs, would be embarassing for some, but definitely NOT, if you believe it, for me... hah...

ya Allah, kuatkanlah kesabaranku, aku terlalu tempted to balik manjung! six years, never nampak batamg idung korang, except for afi... haih... i really miss u guys... cant be described wif words... well, you get some, you lose some...

well, goodbye for now... layan emo... sob...

-illya-

2007-01-17T01:24:00.000+08:00

-delicious!!! shirley temple at ruums-

2007-01-17T01:19:00.000+08:00

-wild night out-

2007-01-16T23:44:00.000+08:00

hey guys, long time no typin'! guess why? sibuk berjoli lah katakan! now, where did i went to last week? won two ticks to Samsons' concert, went with illya syahida and her bibik (donno her name tho') pastu terlupa nak bawak cam nak ambik gambar... cheh...

well, that was remedied by the fact that i was one of the recipients to an invite to AKON's gig at Ruums, KL! i couldn't believe my eyes when i saw the e-mail that said that i can go to the gig (wif a friend la)... biasela, kan skarang banyak spam? so, i didn't take it too seriously (i DID join the contest @ mtvasia.com) and waited...
and called illya... and told my friends, who were instantly and completely jealous, cuz i'm going and they're not! haha, sorry guys...

and monday came... i had plan, sorta like a chain-of-events thing going on in my overlarge brain, and macam-macam was happening there... (i even had this vision we are gonna be rushed by the police for not being 21...) but... tough... i called illya a dozen times to confirm, IM'ed her at work, and offered to be at wisma genting (her workplace) by six (the show starts at 8.30). she said yeah but i should come a li'l bit later cuz she got a land banking seminar going on til late... i said ok yeah i'll come by at seven and she said yeah cool and i could sembahyang maghrib as well... and at 3.30, the OFFICIAL INVITES came thru post! OhMyGod!!! aku menjerit cam orang gile, from the mailbox until i went upstairs... i came to her office, called and waited (at 6.30), she went to sembahyang asar, i melados kat luar... hehe... and after a walton's talk (ya don't wanna know...) we went like crazy kids on crack!

sampai je kat ruums, i said to myself, ya Allah! ramainye orang Q! bile lah boleh masuk ni!?!?!? but we went, to the back of the line, until we hit the parking area... in the basement... about 600 metres from the elevator, which was 50 metres from the entrance... whew... while waiting we melados some more (lucky just bought marl 14) and... talked... yeah, and dengar mp3.. she was like.. next..next...next...
but luckily there were songs that she listened to...

and finally, at about 9.45, amid great ketakpuashatian from the revellers (lama gile Q beb!) we got in! and illya was screaming like what... she just when crazy, man! and when 'lonely' came in, she was UNSTOPPABLE! lucky i suruh die ambik gambar akon and took a movie too :-)...

we had a shirley temple (share2 la... mahal beb) and took tons of pics... can't believe we were there... cilok menu... haha, macam budak-budak pulak... but i left it all inside the taxi we boarded to get home (no trains after 11.30, duh!!!)...

by the way, there were two black dudes we met outside the club before we boarded the taxi, and illya started to make small talk with them... they exchanged mobile nums and she told me one guy hit on her asking for tak senonoh things... see? thats what you get for talking to strangers!!! haha...

alamak, ngantuk la pulak... well, until next time...

and i sampai rumah nak dekat kul 1 wooo... fu**ing trains!!!

going melados now... bye...

-now THAT'S what i call lucky-

2007-01-03T20:39:00.000+08:00

ah-ha!! today was not bad, good actually. the pic on top is actally taken by a.j. (my x-classmate) when we've gone to klcc yesterday, and what fun we had! saw the sinking of japan, enjoyed it but at the same time pissed off (cuz the hero wont shag the heroine for the first and last time before he died... drat!!!), chillin', caught up, just doing nothing i guess (smoking a pack of mrlboro 14's doesn't qualify)...

so, that was yesterday...

today, i woke up early after sleeping erly the night before (wah!!! first time one-lah!), gone for a walk in the park, ate tosai and chapati at my fave mamak, n waited for fly FM's cue-to-call for the french thingy... (french freak? yeah, i know).. and suddenly i heard one, so i called, see, from two phones: house phone and my mobile... the mobile kinda interfered with the reception from the land-line, so i turned the little bugger off... then, i heard the dj say 'hello? who's on the line?'!

i cannot believe it! first time winning something!

azz_21: this is azahari.
dj: hey azahari! youve just won ____________ on saturday @ kl sentral! woohooo! tell me, have you won anything from FlyFM in the past 30 days?!
azz_21: nope...
dj: it's settled then!
azz_21: hey, thanks so much guys! (kinda disappointed)
dj: (wo hoo) you are very welcome! who're you gonna bring that nite?!
azz_21: i dunno... maybe i'll bring my friend who's having his burfday on saturday...
dj: thats great! say happy burpday to him from us!
azz_21: ok...

(the dj takes my particulars, routine stuff, yada yada yada)

dj: have fun!!
azz_21: i will! bye!

-end of conversation-

i still cannot believe it...

i hear ya thinkin':

1) he won, but he's underaged
2) he won, but lost(?)
3) he won, but hung up before the dj got his particulars
4) for whatever reason, he's disappointed....

but the fact of the matter is, i won two ticks to see samsons this saturday!!!(?)
yay, i guess... but i don't really* like them... and i cannot win any prizes from FlyFM for a whole month... so, no french trip fer me, unless somebody wants to join forces wif me (cackle!!!)... i'll hear the phrase of the day, tell ya, you call the station, and tell them d answer, and boom! we're on a trip for two to toulouse, france to see d new airbuses!!! woohoo!!! any takers?

anywayz, i have to collect the ticks maself t sentral... when? i dunno... n i do hope it'll not be B-O-R-I-N-G!!!

hell, it'll be fun, i know it... i can feel the Force...

now, back to my futile attempts to cari keje... ade keje kosong tak? preferably mph or any other KNOWN bookstore... please.. i need the moolah...

2007-01-02T04:36:00.001+08:00

You Are 32% Feminine, 68% Masculine

You are in touch with your masculine side.

You are not overly sensitive and not easily moved.

Occasionally, though, something will get through and touch your heart!

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

2007-01-02T04:34:00.000+08:00

Your Japanese Name Is...

Haruki Heike

What's your Japanese Name?

2007-01-02T04:26:00.001+08:00

All American Kid

Popular but not plastic. Athletic but not a jock. Smart but not a brain.

You were well rounded and well liked in high school.

Who Were You In High School?

2007-01-02T04:24:00.001+08:00

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

2007-01-02T04:18:00.001+08:00

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are.

Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

Are You Hot?

2007-01-02T04:17:00.001+08:00

You Are 70% Open

You're a pretty open person - and you don't mind sharing the good, bad, and sometimes ugly.

And while sometimes you do catch yourself blabbing on, you usually exhibit restraint.

You're openness is quite refreshing, and it encourages other people to be open with you!

How Open Are You?

2007-01-02T04:11:00.001+08:00

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

"No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins"

What's Your 2006 Summer Anthem?

2007-01-02T04:07:00.001+08:00

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are a giving soul. Way too giving in fact. You often get stuck doing the dirty work that no one else will do.

You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style.

You have the perfect blend of confidence and class. You're proud of who you are - but you don't broadcast it.

In relationships, you tend to be very romantic and demanding. You'll treat your partner like gold, but you expect a lot in return.

What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

2007-01-02T04:06:00.001+08:00

Your Irish Name Is...

Fionn Dillon

What's your Irish Name?

2007-01-02T04:03:00.001+08:00

You Are 72% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.

Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.

But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.

You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

2007-01-02T04:00:00.001+08:00

Your Love Style is Storge

For you, love and friendship are almost the same thing

And your love tends to be the enduring, long lasting kind

(You've been known to still have connections with exes)

But sometimes your love is not the most passionate

Leap before you look, and you'll find that fire you crave

What's Your Love Style?

2007-01-02T03:59:00.001+08:00

You Belong in Barcelona

When it comes to Europe, you don't want to decide between culture and fun. You want art by day and a big party by night.

Barcelona is ideal for you. You can check out some Picasso, eat some tapas, take a siesta, and then dance all night!

What European City Do You Belong In?

2007-01-02T03:44:00.001+08:00

You Passed 8th Grade Geography

Congratulations, you got 9/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Geography?

2007-01-02T03:39:00.001+08:00

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 40% Conservative, 60% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

2007-01-02T03:38:00.002+08:00

Your World View

You are a cautious type, neutral, and rather insecure.

You would agree with the idea that everybody has his price...

And in your own case it would not be high.

You are ruled by an inferiority complex and not easy to assess.

How do you present yourself to the world?

An idealist, a moralist, a conformist keeping up with the Joneses?

What Is Your World View?

2007-01-02T03:38:00.001+08:00

You Are Balanced - Realist - Empowered

You feel your life is controlled both externally and internally.

You have a good sense of what you can control and what you should let go.

Depending on the situation, you sometimes try to exert more control.

Other times, you accept things for what they are and go with the flow.

You are a realist when it comes to luck.

You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random.

You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you...

But you do your best to try to make your own luck.

You have a good deal of power, but you also know the pecking order.

You realize that working the system does get you further.

You know who to defer to and who to control.

When it comes to the game of life, you play things flawlessly.

The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test

2007-01-02T03:32:00.001+08:00

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You tend to take more than give in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You're secretly hoping your partner will change for you.

You are fickle and tend to fall out of love easily. You bounce from romance to romance.

How Are You In Love?

2007-01-02T03:27:00.002+08:00

Your Personality Profile

You are funky, outdoorsy, and down to earth.

While you may not be a total hippie...

You're definitely one of the most free spirited people around.

You are very impulsive - every day is a new adventure.

However, you do put some thought behind all your actions.

Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

2007-01-02T03:27:00.001+08:00

You Are 60% Psychic

You are pretty psychic.

While you aren't Miss Cleo, you've got a little ESP going on.

And although you're sometimes off on your predictions...

You're more often right than wrong

So go with your instincts - you know more than you think

Are You Psychic?

2007-01-02T03:25:00.001+08:00

You Are 32% Gross

You're a tad gross, but generally you're a clean, hygienic person.

No one can be perfectly clean all the time, and it's better to be human than a neat freak.

How Gross Are You?

-embarking to new uncharted territories-

2007-01-01T21:24:00.000+08:00

i wanna job! i want money for weekends! i want something to do, not being terperap kat umah je... chez moi is soooo boring now, i constantly go out (if pitis allows) n in order to get pitis, u mintak FaMa... not forever, obviously...

so last nite, in progress of searching d birthday presents for my 4 year old cuz, my father saw a 'job vacancy for customer assistant' at MPH midval... seeing as how illya n kambing (my dormmate) have jobs, its hightime i got myself a respectable job, n mph presented that oppportuinity... my mom said ok, my father suggested i get my nose in, so everythings ok, n the interview is tomorrow (aku nak sampai sane time midval memule bukak) n bring ape2 patot so i can clinch it... kalu tak dapat, eragon will be waiting upstairs at GSC cinema...

i'm thinking of bringing someone who already has a job to teman me, kambing takleh, aku takde nombor die... illya can, but i need to ask her out, maybe blanja her in the process... well, i'm definitely not going alone!!

its not (really) actually abot the money... ntahlah... aku tengok sume org keje/plkn, terase berkenan pulak... haih...

anyway, thats my cuz atas tue.. anak pakcu aku (yang threaten aku tuh) she's 4 today, n tadi gi umah die makan nasik ayam, mak die masak... well, blog readers, aku nak apply keje esok! wish me luck, hope not too nervous lah tomorrow!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..............

2006-12-31T04:48:00.001+08:00

Get Your Monster Name

2006-12-29T04:34:00.001+08:00

Your French Name is:

Philippe Morin

What's Your French Name?

2006-12-29T04:30:00.001+08:00

Your Life Is Worth...

$1,184,500

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

2006-12-29T04:25:00.001+08:00

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.

You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk.

You should major in:

Philosophy

Music

Theology

Art

History

Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

2006-12-29T04:20:00.001+08:00

You Belong in New Zealand

Good on ya, mate

You're the best looking one of the bunch

Though you're often forgotten...

You're quite proud of who you are

What English Speaking Country Are You?

2006-12-29T04:14:00.001+08:00

Never Date an Aries

Impatient, restless, and selfish - it's a lot of work to make an Aries happy.

And if you drop the ball, your Aries will be gone faster than you can say "I'm sorry"!

Instead try dating: Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, or Pisces

What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

2006-12-29T04:08:00.001+08:00

You Are a Kinetic Learner

You learn best by doing, and you have a talent for complicated, physical tasks.
You excel at athletics, drama, and fixing things.
You would be an excellent Olympic athlete - or a Broadway star!

What's" Your Learning Style?

2006-12-29T03:38:00.000+08:00

it was scary really... with a tribe of headhunters out in rainforesty mulu, and the only way out was an airstrip a mile out, and eating dinner at the hotel really burns out your pockets (at least its my uncs, haha) so, taking pics with them and surviving it was really worth it... i even got to shoot a dart from one of them sumpits from that barechested guy on my rite (pic) and piercing a full-blown balloon on the first try. not bad, eh?

well, can't really complain, cuz the food's good, the grounds kinda creepy cum lonely, especially at night (the grownups say this is 'peace', yeah rite) but hey! if you're one of those tree-hugging, butterfly-prancing, cave-exploring, nature buffs would love this place... even me, with all my half-enthusiastic ass being hauled in AirAsias less than friendly flight, found mulu with all of its natural splendor (ohhhh, puh-leeez), verdant greenery (ye la tu) and magnificent facade (come on la mamat), well, fascinating. There was this bat-infested cave, with floors covered with guano (bat shit) n everything. gross, smelly, but worth it ya know? and another cave with magnificent out-of-this-world limestone formations... hah... indescribable! do mulu, guys, you will absolutely like it (if you have 5 thou to spare lah)... that was my holiday...

2006-12-29T03:24:00.000+08:00

Ade nampak cam The Matrix tak? hehe... saje nak test suit ni.. actully i got this kinda like a hand-me-down from my unc, and surprisingly it fits! i wore it ait our batches annual dinner, the Malam Selingkar Kaseh aka MSK and i got nominated for best dressed! hah! take that, K.A.! well, K.A. got the award, best man wins, all that crap, past is past... yeah yeah... different shirt tho', black with a matching peachy cream tie to boot, n a hat i got from carrefour just 2 hours before, a fishermans hat converted to suit the occasion, wrapped with a white tie so it looks like liberace's paying a visit to PUSPANITA's hall that nite... hah... but thats old news... tomorrow, god (and my mom) willing, i'm going out with syfq113 n illya n her sisters to klcc, cinema (the curse of the golden flower is out) until late... lama seh tak jumpa dat spunky gurl... ntah camne ntah rebelliousness die skang... really miss her... she's moved on, or so i heard...

Acir's history now, kan illya? and she's seeing wiriyak, a thai boy... well, she's one of the MOST spunkiest (and cutest) girl i've ever met, can't say much more really, takut jadi ape2 lak nanti, haha... anyayz, i hope the rendez-vous works, cuz i've never seen her for more than a year, and....

I SIMPLY MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

see ya.

2006-12-29T02:59:00.000+08:00

went to mulu the other week, n what can i say? it was really back-to-nature stuff, n it was AMESOME, if not a lil bit hot...

Panas nak mampos! Lepas hujan, panas, frust gak ar... Mancing tak dapat sekor pun, pastu bagi umpan roti plak tue, cheh.... But lelain ok la.... Masuk gua rusa, nampak abraham lincoln (profile die je), pastu ade stalactite that looks lite a hanging p**is dripping water, they call it the 'shower head'... ye la tue... but the dripping side is kinda flat, dunno why... gambo seblah ni masa aku isap ro- ops... nunggu flight from miri back to kl... aku suoh syfq_113 (sepupu aku) amek gamba aku seblah bilik nih... aku isap kat toilet je... takut kantoi doh! nak wat camne, balik umah baru kantoi ngan mak aku isap rokok kat luar kul 1 pagi...

alamak, aku time tu pikir "konfem kene blasah ngan bapak aku punyelah", but surprisingly die rilek aje... sampai pakcu aku datang time bbq ari jumaat aritu... die gertak aku, nak blasah aku cam die blasah suhadi (ala yang bawak motor cub racing tue, sepupu aku gak) time die isap rokok dlu.. aku apa lagi, terus kecut perut, nak terkencing depan komputer aku tgh ngadap time tue.... ape bleh bwat, berani buat, beranilah kite tanggung, kan? die cakap "baru 18 tahun, nak isap rokok. mana stok? 25 tahun nanti bleh la... nanti pakcu dengar lagi awak siapla..." fuh, aku dalam ati mengucap bebanyak, sebab die tak blasah aku rite there and the je... apatah lagi, satu family skang tau aku ade nicotine addiction problem aka smoking.. aku ngan pakcu aku ngan bapak aku je yang buat mende tu... suhadi tak tau la, dah kawin, anak satu, merempit atas litar, (bersanding blom lagik, haha) ntah isap ntah idak...

Tapi aku type blog ni bukanlah sekadar membangkitkan isu-isu tidak senonoh berkaitan perilaku aku dan rokok, tapi saje nak type lepas genap setaun aku tak sentuh blog nih... ape nak jadi? ntah la...

-dawn of a new era-

2006-01-20T15:56:00.000+08:00

'from the depths of 4 cita to the fertile fields of 5 bestari, a new spirit is born in the mind and soul of one particular guy...........'

poetic lah konon! but its true, ya'll! i'm geared up n ready to go, i (almost) kicked smoking and on my way to greater success! mcm rase beh lak blaja taun nih... smua masuk otak, siot! cayalah! ngantuk tuh ade le sket, tapi nothing that couldn't be handled, as i say.

ngan t'jawab cam haram banyak... PKT la, ELS Prez lagik, macam2 kije kene buat taun nih... awal2 taun mmg cam baek sket... tunggu sket jam lagik, tgh taun nnt, smua balik cam taun lepas (arap2 tak gitule)

anyways, writing dis blog makes me reflect back ape yg aku dah wat taun ni n taun lepas, dosa2 n pahala2 (ade ke???), n h/w yang kompom tak siap...

well, dis is d last year i'm in this 'beautiful' school, Sekolah Alam Shah, n i intend to make full use of dis fucking year n be the best among da best!!!

2006-01-09T02:33:00.000+08:00

aiyo......... looking like a hardworking year for me *gasp* like im gonna get a's for all 11 subjects i took..... heih.... like, GILA, man...!!! i am sitiing here, finishing last years' h/w, n feeling so gdamn tired.........

but gud news, people, i havent touched a cig in a week (macam percubaan le konon.......) and i really wanna kickit.. so, frenz, help me plzzzzzz...............

i can see that this year will be good fer me.. just see.....

i've bcome Asst. Monitor (shouldve been monitor tho) n prez of ELS, n AJK cheers for sports house, Dato' Onn... With responsibilities, come power (?) n i hope to get by this year...

well, so much to say, so little time........ wish ya'll a happy Hari Raya 'Aidiladha..... Slamat bercuti..!!!

2005-12-31T03:41:00.000+08:00

eating time...

what's the use?

2005-12-30T09:13:00.000+08:00

I have to get it, my daily/twice daily stick of cig... why can't it just stop?"yeah, that'll happen by itself!!" well........? I know, it is bad for everybody, and i havent slept for two days just thinking over the friggin' thing... It's like pondering on your bleak future, with the words 'failure' and 'asshole' hanging somewhere, just waiting to slam into your face. Oh well, another fact of life.

Three days until school, and I'm already contemplating my next 5-7 years into life. How will my results be? What course will I take? What job will I go for? Who, exactly will I marry? Will I have kids (if I do marry)? It's 100% bull in my head, with nothing to wash it all down...
I'm really sorry mom, dad for all the suprises and disappointments I repaid you with....... But I can't just sit here, can I?

Blogs are good. I only read mine and a couple of my friends. One of them likes to write, "i'm strong. i drink milo everyday". I don't know why, but it shows a lighter side of her, and she's a carefree person despite the hate, or anything, that is actually shown in her blogs.

Yeah, well... Three more days, dude. To what? I don't know... But what I know is, I want that glory, I want it all. I want the money, the wife, the kids, the life. I WANT THE LIFE.

-bad week, maybe, fergie??-

2005-12-20T03:45:00.000+08:00

hello again...........
it has come to my deepest sadness that mon favorit equipe (my favourite team), manchester united, did not qualify for the uefa champs. league, and not even the fucking uefa cup.......
is it the managers fault, the players, the glazers or fucking benfica (the team that beat them by 1 fucking goal)? i donno....... is there a bright side to this?

let's see.... not getting 15 mil pounds in match fees n tickets, thats GOOD, isn't it? trophyless for the 3rd year running? (chelsea kompom menang EPL...) hmm... kene kutuk dengan EPL clubs that qualified...... suck it up, assholes!!!
huh.... not so bad, rite......

eeetttt! WRONG! IT IS A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT!!! n who shall we blame? benfica, thats who!! they were trailing from the very first minute, and they HAVE to come back and win the godforsaken match...... well, shit happens guys, n we the fans r really feeling it....... there's even calls to fire the old gaffer... don't u guys have a fuckin heart? sure, HE's heartless, u say fer sellin' that shitty goldenboots, becks...... but he brings fuckin glory for all the time he's been at the club... pete kenyon turned his back, some fans too.....(i even support chelsea.. just a wee bit)..... but leave him alone, guys.........
we need to be UNITED behind the club, ('cept when their losin' like motherfuckers, like leeds did, heh)...........

well, thats a day's worth of ranting n raving from me.......

till next time, ciao!!!

-cantona's coolie-

2005-12-20T03:26:00.000+08:00

'lo! my first post her, people!!! ........ hmm.........
just got back from rompin, went fishin'.......... maybe it's boring, but i just like fishin', even if i can't get one. heheheh... never did.....

well, on other side of things, my fren azman, he got 13 t-shirts n tickets to rock the world 6, but i can't go........ not that it is that good, anyway.....
i'd rather sit at home, go for tuition, (yeah rite) n sit in front of this fuckin' computer coz i don't have nuthin' better to do......
chatted wif my old fren, liyana today........ just catchin' up on things, u know,
stuff....... her life, the hols, her bf (break konon!!) just goin' over things......

it's really goddamned boring, thats why i write these blogs...... my other fren, ilya, i donno whats her prob, or izit just a phase in a teenagers life, cuz her blog is, like, just so MAD!!! she's a really nice girl in person, tho', but her friends know her better.........
well, i just wanna say, izit really important, like, sucking up n getting 11-10 A's so just u can get rejected or not getting scholarships to some fancy-ass college or uni.? well, to me it is......... cuz i really want a good life...... but thinking again, will i be this fuckin' lazy my whole life? if i do, how can i live like i always wanna? it is a really shitty thing, life........ u jost donno, and for the moment u dont care.....

well, thats all for now..... got to get my daily stick of marlboro into my system...
(Yeah........ that feels so DAMN good!!!!!)

catch ya later

-bYe-